How Not to See New York

Manhattan skyline at sunset. Photo credit: Pixabay

Found such an unusual article authored by Youmans and appearing in the 5 Dec. 1934 edition of the Berkeley Daily Gazette, page 4. It's a jam-packed, rather cheeky imagined itinerary for a hypothetical trip to New York, a location which, in the end, she advises the aging and contemplative against visiting. Not sure why the write-up's in a California newspaper (since she was located in Ohio)—though she did stay with a friend for a year in Cali, between 1927-1928, following the death of her husband and marriage of her only son, so perhaps there's a connection there. Also not sure why she's writing about what to see, if she'd never been!

Manhattan Tour

From Pataskala, Ohio, comes the following prescription for the ideal New York visit. Eleanor Youmans sends it:

“Having been to Atlantic City, but never to New York, I suspect I’d spend the first hour riding miles in a taxi to reach a hotel three blocks from the station.

“The first half day, I’d made inquiries as to what has been done with the Poe cottage that stood
at Fordham. And the afternoon, going to the various places to which I had been mistakenly direct. Incidentally, you might tell us: What has become of the Poe cottage?

Poe Cottage, Bronx, New York. Photo credit: JHSmithArch

“Having seen greater New York and the water front, the Brooklyn and Washington bridges, Central Park, Broadway, Forty-Second Street, and the Goddess of Liberty, while hunting for the Poe cottage—I’d spend my second and third days in the Metropolitan Museum art Gallery. The fourth day, if possible, I’d visit Radio City music hall, the Capital Theater, and the Theater Guild. In the evening, I’d go to Madison Square Garden, to see the Canadian Mounties ride.

Metropolitan Museum of Art. Photo credit: Arad

“The fifth day—a farewell ride up Broadway on top of a bus, in the morning. A matinee performance of the Phil Harmonic, and that night, to the Metropolitan opera, to hear Richard Crooks and Rosa Ponselle in—was it?—‘Peter Ibbettson.’ Between times, a stroll up Fifth Avenue, to peer into shop windows. But no time wasted going inside. We have shops, at home, stuffed with New York and Paris goods.

The Metropolitan Opera. Photo credit: NARA

“No night clubs—‘My New York,’ and a lively imagination is sufficient for them. No visit to the Empire State tower—pictures show more than I could see on a smoky winter day. I’d be taken to my train in an ambu’ance, likely, after such a whirl. And, it would be a relief to return to the Welsh hills country, in Central Ohio. New York attracts youth. It is the place for sharp, brilliant work. When you come to write your 1200 page novel, try the meditative hills.”

Welsh Hills of Licking County, Ohio. Photo credit: GranvilleNative